Egghead

My son has started lying.

Experts, however, claim you shouldn't punish a preschool for fibbing, it's all a natural part of development.

I'm punishing him anyway.

Not for lying, necessarily, but for thinking I'm dumber than a hard-boiled egg.

I was watching the Canucks clinch their division the other day when I realized it had been at least two minutes since I heard any sound from Alex.

I immediately jumped to my feet and raced into the kitchen, where I caught him standing on a chair in front of the sink with blue food colouring completely covering his mouth and hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Nothing"

"Where did you get all that blue stuff?" I asked again.

"Nowhere."

"Alex, your hands are all blue. How did they get that way?" I demanded.

"The cat."

I smiled, but bit my tongue and continued.

"Alex, were you playing with an Easter Egg? " I asked.

"Maybe."

"Well, remember mommy and daddy saying that we don't put unpeeled eggs in our mouth. You could choke on the shells," I warned.

"But daddy, I didn't put any egg in my mouth," he said through his blue-stained teeth.

"Alex, go to your room. And on the way past the bathroom, look in the mirror."