When my wife became a nurse practitioner, she went out and bought the most obnoxious sounding alarm clock she could find.She needed a high-decibel clock to wake her for those 7 a.m. consults, but she still managed to sleep through it a few times.
(I think women are gifted with the ability to turn their hearing off, a skill that allows them to stay married to husbands who, allegedly, "snore like a congested heifer.")
Anyhoo, after much research, I have found the perfect sound for the world's most effective alarm clock sound and I'm willing to share it with anyone who wants to use it.
I guarantee it will wake the sleepiest person and have then out of bed and running in less than a second.
The sound, of course, is that of a child barfing his brains out.
All over his bed.
After having two helpings of peas, carrots and chicken (which, it seems, he needs to chew more).
If this posting does not make much sense, I apologize--I'm sleep deprived.
It seems, that after a 3 a.m. wake-up call from the barf alarm, I didn't get any more sleep and spent the next three hours doing laundry, rubbing a little person's back and telling him "no, I'm not mad at all that Junior also threw up on mommy and daddy's bed."
And I made sure Lisa didn't sleep though her alarm.
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