Snoring vs. bed wetting

Why do female black widow spiders kill their husband's after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

One of the biggest problems with child rearing is having to do it under a constant state of sleep depravation.

That's the very same scenario that first year university students work under, but at least they grow out of it.

Child-initiated sleep depravation only ends when the child leaves home.

It starts when the baby is born.

They want to feed, mom doesn't want to get out of bed every two hours, so mom and baby take over the bed and dad is left clinging to the side with his butt hanging over the edge.

Once the child is weaned, he wants to come into “the big bed” because he's lonely.

No big deal, except little kids can't sleep in one position.

They must move, kick, roll and turn end-for-end at least once every 3 1/2 minutes.

Despite the constant cajoling and threats from mom about being sent back to “the little bed,” this restless sleep continues every night.

Once the child is four, nighttime toilet training starts.

About every third night they wet the bed and want a dry place to sleep (we're at this stage).

That dry placed tends to be mom and dad's big bed.

My lovely bride Lisa thought she had hit on a solution last night.

Instead of Alex coming in and joining us in the big bed, I’d go and join him in his bed (once I put dry sheets on it).

Once I got everything set up, I hopped in bed with Alex.

He looked at me with he same expression mom uses when she tells him he can’t toss and turn in the big bed and said: "You can't snore in this bed. One snore and you have to go to the big bed."

Sigh.

I can’t wait for the I-just-saw-a-scary-movie-and-I-can't-sleep stage.