A person suffers the most upper-respiratory tract infections (colds, etc.) between the ages of three and five.One of the worst occupations for getting sick at work is a doctor.
I am blessed to have both of these human Petri dishes living in my house.
About the only time my son doesn't have a runny nose is when it's clogged solid.
My wife isn't a doctor, she's a nurse practitioner, but for all intents and purposes they do the same thing.
If you've gone to the doctor's office to have your hacking cough looked at and wondered how physicians stay healthy, the answer is simple.
They don't.
They get sick a lot more than the general population.
Which brings me to my point: Either my son or my wife have given me a super bug.
I have all the signs of SARS, avian flu and the bubonic plague, with a touch of Norwalk thrown in for good measure.
In a previous life, I worked three weeks in -40 C weather with double pneumonia, taking nothing more than honey and whiskey to keep me going.
Tonight, I have Kleenex softened with lotion, hot tea served by my guilt-wracked wife and a copy of Hop On Pop, courtesy of my son. (He feels no guilt for my illness, he figures that since I'm in bed, I must want to read to him.)
It's all I can do to hang on.
Excuse me, I have to go have my tummy rubbed.
8 comments:
Sweet picture of someone else's kid, naked, posed as an adult!
No, really, this one and the last are brilliant.
I have the only cure for the common cold. All you have to do is shave your head, put the hair clippings in a solution of equal parts ocean water, patchouli, and brewed matcha tea. Put the ingredients in a airtight tin box. During the next full moon, at the stroke of midnight, find the oldest tree you can. Take three strides east from the trunk and dig a hole three feet deep. Bury the tin box and mark the spot with a rock. Turn around three times and let out a long howl directed at the moon. Let me know how this works out for you.
As for your mold problem, are tumble dryers really a necessity in today's world? The amount of energy used by most dryers is a complete waste when the same effect can be had by simply hanging your clothes on a rack. This way you avoid the mold and do something good for the environment. It's simple.
Speaking of simple, how are you doing Elecia?
The reason I use a dryer, obvious to anyone who lives in Vancouver and has an IQ higher than a potato, is that it rains 364 days a year.
Hanging clothes outside leaves you with that frumpy, soggy look you and your friends are so famous for.
On the plus side, it's the closest a Hippie can come to a bath, so I understand why you do it. . .
Wow Ed, your statistics are fascinating. It must be your high quality journalistic experience at The Province that has given you such insight.
I can only hope that by the time I reach your age, many many years from now, I'll have the instinct and drive that I admire so much in you.
You two are awesome. Who will be the first to squeal?
Good words.
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